Thank you for the shared experience.

I’m looking for others to join me in writing/filming a documentary about Impact. Any interest from you?

First of all, I come from an LDS background, but left the church at the age of 25 for no real belief in anything supernatural. This was a process that took years and without going into extreme detail, I’ll just say that once I was out of the LDS church I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me.

Many of my family members have been through training, including cousins, aunts, uncles, and even my mother. I have been talked to about the training for the last year or so by various family members and I never wanted to go because A) I knew they would talk about God and I’m not really a believer in God, especially when organizations like this keep confirming why I think the whole God institution is manipulative and plays on people’s fears. B) It seemed new agey to me, although if they would’ve stayed neutral with respect to saying “the Universe” and “heart” I probably would’ve been okay with most of what was said. BUT, they didn’t stay neutral. AT ALL, and I found their practices to be extremely manipulative and it never occurred to me until after being in the training about the sleep deprivation factor. I’ll just give a synopsis of everyday and explain my experiences. I ended up agreeing to go because I was at a time in my life where I felt out of control with my escapism and shutting down when things were tough. I figured I would just take the good things out of it and not pay any attention to the God stuff.

Day One: Went in at 1:30 to register, then the training started at 3:00 with military like yelling to “PLACE YOUR BELONGINGS AT THE SIDE OF THE ROOM AND HAVE A SEAT” “FILL THE FRONT ROWS FIRST”. The staffers repeated this multiple times until everyone was probably so scared about what was going on, that we were all quiet.

After we were seated, one of the main trainers, Justin, came up to the room walking very fast and getting into his “I’m better than you” Persona. He purses his lips a lot to look like a tough guy, and this bothered me. After he established himself, he started asking questions and someone made the mistake of raising their hand. And each subsequent person that raised their hand was grilled into humiliation hearing phrases like “I GET THAT ABOUT YOU” or “MY EXPERIENCE OF YOU IS…” From day one we were not allowed to say “you” in a general sense, but always “I” or “ME” even when it didn’t make sense… What happened on the first day was a lot of tears by the group and a lot of open disclosure. AND grilling by Justin. We were there until 11:30 that night just learning about why our lives sucked so bad. Some of it resonated with me, and I took those things and have ran with them, but a lot of it, like their “language of increase” crapola was ridiculous.

Also, the ground rules were laid out. No smoking, drinking, taking any advil or mind altering substance, so not even melatonin or Nyquil or anything! Some couldn’t take the heat and agree to that so they left. No disclosing anything to anyone about the processes in Quest, because “it would take away from their experience”. No talking about anyone outside the group, No Chewing Gum, No Cell Phones, Always arrive on TIME, and Take care of your buddy… As in, if your buddy didn’t show up one day you would most likely be asked to leave since you didn’t care enough to get them there and make sure they were coming. I don’t remember all the other rules, but basically the whole thing was about “BEING YOUR WORD” and not breaking it. Whatever…

Now, I can’t remember which day we did the “Trust” exercise, but I THINK it was on Day One. We had to go around the room and say to random people we made eye contact with if we trusted them or not… with these 4 phrases:

“I trust You”
“I don’t trust You”
“I don’t know if I trust”
“I don’t care to say if I trust you”

Darren made us do that a few different times, and one of the times he said if we say “I trust you” to someone, we were then to disclose our deepest, darkest secret. One lady said something to me that was so disturbing I figured she must be mentally ill. Something about how she had sex one time while on her period and the tampon got stuck… Um, never needed to know that! And that’s not a deep dark secret!

Day Two: More about how we are in charge of ourselves and have the power to BE who we are, but that we get so lost in our minds that we don’t get anywhere. More humiliation of group members, and lots of crying. We also played the BLACK/RED game which was to demonstrate to us that there is no Right or Wrong, just what works and doesn’t work. We all failed miserably at this game because we didn’t follow the instructions or something and got caught up on things that didn’t matter. And there was a lot of tension. I guess this game made a good point overall.

Before I go into Day Three, I have to say that I was fine up until that point. It wasn’t such a horrible experience before that, even though I didn’t agree with the way they did everything I WAS feeling bonded to my group, I WAS feeling motivated and I was examining my life in a different way.

Day Three started with the normal stuff, but then we had to do an exercise where we got rid of all of our family demons by imagining a Photo Album and “calling forth” our Mom, Dad, anyone else who had ever hurt us, and finally OURSELVES. We had to yell and scream and the whole room was full of wailing, sort of like in the scriptures where they say “weeping wailing and gnashing of teeth”. I totally got into it, I was saying every word in the book and beating the crap out of the chair (as we were instructed to do). We then had to act as if we were the people we were screaming at, apparently to gain empathy for them. Overall it was an effective exercise, but everyone was totally off their rocker (myself included) while we were doing it. Everything went down hill from there…

God had to be mentioned constantly. Why, WHY couldn’t they JUST say Universe, why couldn’t they just say “HEART”, why did they have to act like the only way we could really just “Be” was through tapping into our Light Source (AKA God). I started getting extremely uncomfortable, and from there, the next few hours of sharing seriously felt like LDS Fast and Testimony meeting, people giving near death experiences, etc etc. I felt nauseated and like I was being cheated by it having to take that route. I’m all for unconditional love and “there is no right or wrong” only what works and doesn’t work… I’m for humanity and love and peace, but not when there’s a God agenda behind it. That’s part of why we have so many wars in the first place. So after this “sharing” came a buncha talk about Summit and how if we don’t go to Summit we’re going to backslide and go back to who we were before Quest. I didn’t like this manipulation… If we really are “at choice” as they like to say, and are supposed to always feel with our hearts, and be who we are, and there is no right or wrong, then why would they plant this manipulative seed in our minds? Wouldn’t it be up to us if we FELT the need to go to Summit? People were eating it up. The sales pitch for Summit and then Lift Off was done through an illustration… 2 land masses far apart with a body of water inbetween and sharks infesting the water. Quest is half of a bridge, Summit is the other Half, and the Lighthouse on the other side provides a place for us to “LIFT OFF” as birds into the sky.

I felt so manipulated because I honestly thought “Wow, they want us to believe we can create anything in our lives, and use that to THEIR advantage to get more revenue!” It’s total hypocrisy based on what they taught us in Quest. Why can’t someone take what they learned in Quest and be done? Why do they HAVE to go to Summit and Lift Off, and thousands of dollars later, somehow be One with the Universe? If it’s truly a choice, it can be done without their pseudo-support.

Also on this day we did a singing exercise, and if I never hear the song we sang again, I would be perfectly fine. It’s called “STAND”, and we stayed until the wee hours of the morning all having to sing it by ourselves in front of everyone. I guess it was sort of a fun exercise that got us out of our shells, but it lost its flavor when a person in my group started having a really bad migraine, so much so that they could hardly function. A staffer finally asked Darren if she could go home, but he looked at her with no empathy at all and said “Your group deserves you to be here”. I felt so bad… plus it would be against her “WORD” to take any kind of pain reliever.

We didn’t get out until 2:30 that morning. So 14+ hours of brainwashing and sleep deprivation.

I’m not sure what day the hugging exercise happened, but I did enjoy that at the time. Now I see that it was more of a manipulative exercise that keeps you wanting to see these people over and over again, and makes you question your own relationships and if they’re “intimate” enough. Of course, it couldn’t just be an exercise about unconditional love, it had to involve something supernatural like the trainers saying “Some of you may feel like you’ve seen these people before” As in a pre-existence type thing… We had to look into the people’s eyes and when prompted hold up 1-4 fingers. 4 fingers being the ‘hug’ fingers. That is what most people did, and there was a lot of crying.
Also on that day we were able to go out to eat with our buddies and one other DYAD (twosome), and while it was enjoyable to get out of that warehouse, I again realized how little overhead this company has. They don’t feed you, they have the higher up trainings feed you (like Lift Off) or your angels. They also offered a $15 dollar photo of the Quest group that took about .50 cents to make and used the phrase “You can choose to receive a $15 dollar family photo and receive it by the end of the day, is that exciting folks?”

I didn’t end up buying one because I was starting to feel the manipulation there. I also felt it even more when we were asked to “create” a situation on a break where we did something nice for someone without them knowing it. Wouldn’t you know it, when we went outside the group room, there were roses you could buy for exorbitant prices, stickers and necklaces. At least they were kind enough to provide note cards and pens incase you didn’t wanna buy anything.

By day 4 I was done… I still went but they just kept pitching Summit and talking about God and Spiritual Beings having a human experience, yadda yadda. Towards the end of the day we got into our groups and were asked POINT BLANK if we were going to Summit and if we gave any kind of “excuses” we were told that “Your family deserves you to be there”, and that if we ask the universe for something the answer will always be “YES!”. Well, maybe, but my bank account would be dry, I’d lose my job, and we’d have no home to live in, but I guess they don’t care about that! I told them flat out I wasn’t coming and that I didn’t like the god stuff… and they just said I can interpret it however I want. They also had us sign up for an interview time on the following Monday.

Later, we had graduation and I was numb at that point. My husband came and my daughter and some other family members. When one of them asked if I was going to Summit, and I said NO, of course I got the tape recorder answer back. Nobody would take No for an answer.

Finally done with the whole process and I start realizing that the bonding I had with these people was fleeting and if I wasn’t going to Summit I would lose contact with most or all of them. I felt SAD about that! I cried everyday after feeling like I was going to lose these people just cause I wasn’t in the “in crowd” anymore. I realized this whole thing isn’t about unconditional love, it’s about manipulation!

I also was called for an interview and told again that I deserve to go to Summit and maybe they could send a letter to my boss telling them it was a “win win” situation. And when I told her no, and also didn’t show up at the reunion I received ANOTHER call from a higher up basically planting in my head that I was lost without them and that if I ever get an aching or feel like I’m on a rollercoaster that their door is always open. Well, thanks but no thanks.

My family members that are in this freak me out. Especially after reading what they teach in the higher up trainings and TIT. I did see their love water in the vending machines and was totally disturbed by that.
I’ve pretty much cut my losses. I still have friends on facebook but I still don’t know how real those friendships are. I even emailed everyone saying I won’t be going to Summit , but that we deserve to stay in touch and only got a few genuine responses. Everyone else ignored me.

So, there you have it. My Quest story. I wish people could see them for what they are. Just because you get good things out of it, doesn’t mean it’s GOOD and a LOT of the good stuff is bred from manipulation, like feeling you LOVE everyone in your group. It’s not as real once you’re not in their fold. Very sad…